100 Days into Parenthood
Today marks the 100th day, our little bundle of joy entered this world. Parenthood is one of the toughest thing in this world but it also comes with so much joy and happiness. Isn’t that the reason most of them want to become a parent? Well, to be frank I was dreading more before our boy entered this world because of the additional responsibility attached to raising him.
Parenting isn’t a Joke
I always wondered Why raising a baby is the job for a Mother and not the father? Aren’t Fathers equally responsible to take care of the baby? I have always had this thought in mind and luckily my wife and the baby had to stay with me for 3 months, it was the most precious thing because I could also participate in the initial days of taking care of the baby. Usually in India the mother’s of the baby would stay with their parents atleast for 6 Months and then move in with the Father. The fathers are mostly left to take care of their Work and participate less in the initial days. So, this post is all about my journey with the baby in his initial days into this world and some of the learning from being a first time parent and the role as a father. One might think this as bragging but it is just another post about parenthood. Usually the mommies will blog but the papa is blogging here.
Role of a Father in the initial days
I have seen my wife go through so much pain initially, since we are the first time parents its all new experience for us. I made myself prepared to be a father, right from the time she got pregnant, I learned along with her and even participated in various classes.
So, I followed the same thing even after the baby was born. You know the women get so tired in the initial days, they wouldn’t know why the baby cries and all they had to do is keep feeding them every hour or every two hours. Be supportive of them and don’t expect them to do the daily chores and this is the most important phase for the mothers since they sleep less and be more tired. Instead of just being bothered about your sleep getting disturbed, try and put the baby to sleep atleast twice. You will not only feel happy but your wife will not get cranky for loosing her sleep 😛
Supportive mother’s and Mother in laws also play a big part in this process. Mostly, the girl’s parent’s will be supportive but not the Mother-in-laws, some are open minded and some are not. Always, the guys should stop complaining about your mother and your wife, instead try and build a bond between them, it will not only ease things between them but you can be more peaceful. Also, it is most important that the guys should educate their mothers about being different and it is not the same when she raised a child and now your wife raising a child. Luckily, my mother was little open minded that I didn’t have to do so much of a heavy lifting.
Some useful tips
All, I’m trying to say is the role of a father in the initial days of the child is equally important as of Mother’s. No one is asking us to feed the baby, all they are asking is to be a little supportive. Help them as little as possible and I’m sure your wife will not only be happy but you go to much higher place in her heart. Learn to put the baby to sleep, it will come handy in dire situations, Trust me. Also, it is important to learn to tie the “Langode”. My wife and I initially decided not to go with diapers except at night, because of the rashes and the tightness of it. Langodes are cheap, easily available and the baby gets enough air circulation.
There will always be people who complain every little thing about the baby and it is most important that the Father’s don’t take that into heart because you need to console your wife. They fall prey into this rabbit hole easily.
Also, do not delve so much into details of parenting which you find on Internet and blogs. Sure, these articles and blog posts help you to an extent, but it will also push you into a confusing state and you might end up panicking. Read enough information and not too much.
If the baby cries it is not necessary that they feel hungry. We must understand that the baby cries for various reasons and few important ones being (a) they feel sleepy (b) they want to release gas/burp (c) they are hungry (d) they feel uncomfortable are few out of other reasons. You and your wife will get to know this slowly but instead of just pushing the breast milk try ways to make them sleep. The babies must sleep atleast 18 hours in the first month and gradually the sleeping time reduces, keep these in mind ?
My Mother and wife used to complain that I am being over protective of the baby. I’m not sure if I’m the only guy who got this comment, but it is okay to be a little over protective in the initial stage and come out of that zone slowly.
One last thing and I don’t want to bore the readers more, I strongly believe that The parents should also grow along with the kid and shouldn’t expect the kid to follow the norms of your time. If, you don’t grow, kids are the ones end up suffering.
I hope to be a good father as much as my father was to me. To all the new fathers or going to be fathers, if you are scared don’t worry, I was there and I became confident that I could give my son a better future. If, I can be confident, you can too. If any of you would like to talk to me, Please do ping me if you have my number or comment the details, I will get in touch. I’m sure I can put your fears into ease.
Happy parenting 🙂